Fuel Frustration

Now being a taxi driver has recently been named as one of the ten most stressful jobs so it’s best to try and be calm and placid all the time whilst working, or else they say that the stress will eventually kill you.

Now nothing usually gets to me, I tend to try and ignore the bad driving and rudeness of the minority who are the morons of the road.

But one thing really gets my teeth gnashing and my rarely used stock of swearwords in full flow.

It was a busy day, I was low on fuel, and so during a lull I headed into my usual supermarket garage to top up the diesel.

But it looked as if every other driver in town had the same idea at the same time and all the lanes were backed up.

After doing the usual dip zoo magazoo to pick which lane to wait in I joined a line of cars.

Much later I was next in line and it was finally about to be my turn at the pump.

The driver of the car in front of me had got into their car and I moved eagerly forward ready to take its place.

The driver happened to be a woman but I have had the same maddening experience from both sexes.

 She firstly checked her hair and makeup in the mirror and then carefully stowed away her credit cards cash and sweeties etc, into her handbag.

 I started to edge forward as she put her bag on the floor and started to fasten her seat belt.

 But after fiddling about finding the buckle and adjusting the belt to her liking, she then found that her keys were not in the ignition, so it was off with the belt and back out with the full contents of the bottomless bag.

By this time, all the other lanes had emptied but another car had come up close behind me and I was helplessly trapped not earning and squirming with frustration.

A good few minutes later and the missing keys were found, the seatbelt was fastened, and my hopes were again rising.

Only to be cruelly dashed when a final mirror check revealed some defect in her eye make-up.

Yep you guessed it the make-up was in the bottomless bag on the floor and so it went on with her still blissfully unaware of the queue behind her.

That is until she noticed that my taxi was now only a coat of paint away from her car and that I was revving the engine and mouthing curses about her and all her ancestors before her.

She drove of looking quite flustered, I filled up whilst taking deep breaths, and considering a change of career perhaps a Buddhist monk or a soot juggler eh!

  

 

Things people say in an argumant

It was around 11pm last night that I picked up a young man and woman who were constantly arguing with each other from the moment they got in the car. The argument stopped briefly to allow one of them to tell me where they wanted to go to and then it started again as quickly as it stopped.

I didnt want to get involved and just kept driving and saying nothing as on a lot of occasions they do try and involve the driver with questions such as "What do you think then? I am right or is she right?" I don't get involved in other peoples arguments as I just want to get my job done. Get them to their destination, get the fare from them, and move on to my next job.

However, I couldnt help but laugh when the girl says to Boy "You think you are gods gift to women, well sorry to burst your bubble but gods gift to women runs on batteries! :) " --- Made me laugh anyway

Naked in summer

Well its been a while since I posted and the reason behind this is that I have spent very little time out on the roads as Bob has been on holiday for a couple of week enjoying the delights of America and beyond and I have spent most of my time in the office doing the things that Bob would normally do as well as doing my own work in there as well as trying to get to the gym for a workout.

I'll tell you a little story which actually goes back a few years when a passnger rang up to complain that a naked driver had picked her up and insisted that he was wearing no clothes at all.

It turns out the driver was wearing a pair of green shorts but whilst sat in the drivers seat his flab from his oversized belly dropped down convering his shorts and making him look naked.

Of course, with me going to the gym, I don't have that problem... Ahem....

No answer

I was sat there listening to the taxi radio when the operator shouted up a driver and there was no response. She then shouted another driver and again there was no response. This went on for about 4 different drivers then all of a sudden all I heard over the radio from the operator was

"Is anyone rogering me tonight or not" I think I knew what she meant but the way iot came out sounded more like something else if you know what I mean. I just went into fits of laughter

Roger - Over and out

Airport Journeys

Recently I have done a few airport runs picking up foreigners who need to be brought to the home town. Its not a bad run down the motorway and the journey can be completed in 2 hours each way so there's always a time for a good craic with the passengers assuming they speak good English.

This is actually usually the case and you can talk about all sorts of things with them and feel that after a 2 hour journey that you know them. Some just talk about work and some just grunt the odd English word at you.

One guy I picked up this week couldn't stop eyeing up the girls. It was beautiful weather and the girls were out wearing next to nothing and every female we past no matter what age or what they look like, he remarked saying that English girls very beautiful.

Another gentleman I picked up who couldn't speak much English was listening to music on the car radio and he kept joining in with English songs and words but well out of tune. I think he was trying to learn the language

The best of the lot really is what most foreign passengers do when you take them to the car... They try and get in the drivers side as they are not used to the fact that we drive on the left.

Never hurt anyone

Picked a young couple up this weekend who had been involved in a brawl and wanted to get way from it all. They were about 20-22 years old. He looked your typical chave type person and she looked very similar.

Anyway the conversation was along the lines of him looking for a job and how he would like to work so he can support his girlfriend and he went on to say that he cant understand why he gets turned down for jobs as he is not a violent person and has never hurt anyone in his life and he doesnt have a criminal record for violence.

Then in the next breath he tells me that he recently came out of prison for robbery but he's never been violent. No wonder he cant get a job and surely I would havew thougth that robbery would have a degree of violence to it as the person being robbed would have felt threatened. I mentioned this to him and his response - I may have robbed someone but I didnt hurt them so that makes it OK. - Sorry, but in my book, that doesnt make it ok. Just because youve served the time does not mean you have been rehabilitated.

The price on the meter....

This weekend gone I picked up 3 dumb blonde girls who must have been around 16 years of age each. The conversation in the car gave me the impression that none of them could afford to go out to a party but they felt they needed to and only had £30 between the 3 of them.

Part way into the journey one of the girls realised she had left a birthday card behind and asked me to turn round and go back so she could pick it up. No problem there but then she asked me if I could stop the meter and kept saying things like" Your not going to charge us for this extra bit of journey are you?"

I explained that the price on the meter is the price they pay and its not my fault that one of then had forgot the card. This didnt sink in and all 3 of them ended up demanding I turn the meter off and start the journey again once they have picked up the card.

It didnt wash with me and I carried on regardless and charged them the fare on the meter which came to £4.90p . They insisted that I should knock £2 off as I had to go back but as it want my fault I told them to take responsibility for their own actions and due to their incompetence it has now cost them more money and I am not knocking anything off the fare.

The fare was paid in full which caused the 3 girls to get out of the car trying to add up how much they could spend. One said that they had £25 left between the 3 of them so that makes £10 each for drinks and they would scrounge a lift home instead of a taxi.

Seems to me they need to learn how to do maths.

Embarrasing Names

Quite often when one of our telephonists takes a phone call from a customer, they don't always hear the name correctly. This could be for a number of reasons such as loud noise in the callers background, An unusual to pronounce name, The callers too drunk to say their name properly as well as operator error where the telephonist hasnt listened properly or has hit the wrong keys on the keyboard and spelt it incorrectly.

Not too long ago I got sent for a job in the name of "Proudcock", When I did pick up the fare, it turned out the name was "Proudfoot". Makes you wonder what was going through the operators mind at the time of the call.

However, earlier on today was the best so far as the image shown on the PDA unit below shows.

The name was "BASTET". Now if I try to say this as its spelt then it can very easily be mistaken for the word "Bastard" and I thought that theres no chance of me risking having my face used as a punchbag by someone if I pulled up outside the pub and shouted "Is anyone a Bas**rd.

I double checked with the radio operator and it turns out the name was BASSET.

Has anyone else ever picked up passengers with strange names or given to you incorrectly by a radio operator

Another club closes

Picked up a fare tonight from the Unuted Club in the town only to be told that at the end of February it is closing its doors and the building will no doubt be sold on to some developere to turn it into houses or flats as is much the case with other pubs and clubs that have closed recently.

Its not good news for those that visit there on a regular basis but its happening all over the UK. Places closing down and being converted to houses or flats, never to be used as a pub ever again.

Barrow In Furness used to have lots of pubs and a history of them all can be found at www.barrowpubs.co.uk

Waiting around

Picked a fare up over Christmas and she asked me to take her somewhere and wait. Whilst the meter was clocking up the waiting time she came back out, looked at it and said. "Can you turn your engine off so that the meter doesnt clock up".

Thick or what???

Sounds like....

Quite often I will pick up a fare and they will try and tell you where they want to go but can`t quite remember what it is called.

I got asked to take a fare to "The Caffeine". This got me thinking as I couldnt think of anything to do with caffeine apart from cups of coffee,

Turns out the location he wanted was called "The Canteen".

Sunday Roast to go....

Bob doesn't post much at all these days as he is mainly in the office but when he does get out on the road he tends to get some strange jobs.

The job that he went on last Sunday was one of those jobs where you don`t think you are going to get your fare to the destination in one piece.

Curious..... Bob picked up a fare and the fare came out with a Sunday Roast on a plate and asked him to deliver it to an address in Barrow. We do a lot of courier work picking up parcels and goods etc but a Roast Dinner.... Hmmm..

And the reason for the comment about not getting the fare to its destination is that (according to Bob) the meal smelt so good he was tempted to eat it.

What would you have done. If it was me I would have eat it then go to the chip shop and buy some chips to give to the person at the other end and say. "Heres your dinner".

Only Joking. of course but it does make me wonder what strange items have you been asked to deliver anywher

London Cabbies

Not sure how true this is but a passenger I picked up this week tells me that a mate of his is a taxi driver in London and can take £600 for 5 hours work.

My passenger tells me he got a taxi from North London to South London and it costs him just short of £50 and their meters start on £4.50p

It seems a lot of money and to earn £600 in 5 hours equates to £120 per hour.

London fares may be more expensive than ours but there again ethers a lot of ground to cover as London is a large place but if we were to start our meters on £4.50p I think there would be a public outcry up here.

Fixed Fares

This week I picked a fare up from the Town Centre and took him into the nbext town and aksed him for the £6 fare. He paid it but started asking questions like.

That's extortionate, we`ve only just come up the road?
Is it a higher rate on a Sunday?
Why do you charge so much?

The fact that he said we had only just come up the road made me calculate the mileage to around just short of 4 miles. I explained this to him but he said it seemed like a few hundred yards.

The guy spoke with a broad irish accent and told me that where he came from that the same journey would cost him around 75 pence.

Is there any taxi firm out there that has a minimun rate this low?? speak up...