Recently in The Telegraph, Jim White listed -- tongue in cheek -- 30 reasons why Britons say that Britons stay in Britain ---
The Great Brit Exodus: British citizens are starting new lives abroad at the rate of one every three minutes. With 385,000 people emigrating in the 12 months to July 2006, we're witnessing the biggest exodus for a generation - which has reignited the debate about what exactly is wrong with our country.
These are the reasons why the readers of Tne Telegraph think the Britons who are still in Britain, stay in Britain:
1 There's never a problem getting a Polish plumber.
2 The walk from Solva to Whitesands Bay, round St David's Head in Pembrokeshire - probably the world's most scenic stroll.
3 Barbecuing in the rain.
4 Somewhere in virtually every British television schedule, there still lies a gem: Armando Iannucci's The Thick of It, Andrew Marr's A History of Modern Britain, David Attenborough's Planet Earth series…
5 London's revitalised Southbank. Art, architecture, design, culture and a big wheel all in one astonishing, two-mile-long strip. Try finding something to match that in Perth.
6 This summer, there has been no need to ring the neighbours to see if they'd remembered to water your garden while you were on holiday…
7…Or any worries about suffering from sunburn.
8…Or any fear of being snitched on for putting the sprinkler on your lawn at three in the morning (that's if the sprinkler hasn't rusted up under the swell).
9 Not having to spend four hours traipsing round town looking for a bar that might be showing the Rugby League cup final.
10 Teeing off at the first at Wentworth. Forget bungee jumping in New Zealand, hang-gliding in the Himalayas or croc-taming in Oz, there is no experience on Earth that gives an adrenalin rush quite like that. Absolutely terrifying.
11 You can't get a decent chicken tikka masala anywhere else.
12 Meeting up with an old mate in the pub, rather than sending an email to make an appointment to be at the computer at the same time so you can talk via Skype for five minutes before losing the link.
13 The rail journey from Plymouth to Penzance.
14 Where else can you pay £150 for the privilege of wading thigh-deep in sewage-laced mud before sitting in a sodden tent, unable to get to sleep at four in the morning because the bloke in the next door tent has decided to regale the world with his atonal version of Redemption Song? And do it every weekend, all summer long, anywhere from Loch Lomond, via Glastonbury, to the Isle of Wight?
15 Cheese-rolling in Gloucestershire, bog-snorkelling in Llanwrtyd Wells, barrel-burning in Lewes: no one does bonkers traditions like they do here.
16 Some of the best French, Italian, Indian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Spanish and Thai restaurants in the world.
17 Here, you can walk on pavements where dog owners clear up after their mutts, unlike much of France, which is close to being buried under a rising brown drift.
18 The view from the top of Mount Snowdon.
19 Being able to watch great Shakespearian actors, who the rest of the world only get to see on the movie screen as they bolster their pensions in ropey Hollywood blockbusters, performing Shakespeare on stage. And doing it so well, it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
20 Not having to pay to be stuck in a five-mile jam on the motorway.
21 Blackberries the size of ping-pong balls.
22 The announcements to passengers on First Great Western trains. Where else can you find anything to match the invention ("The delay was caused by the effects of sunshine on signals"), the self-righteousness ("We are held up behind a slow-running train operated by another operator") and the complete lack of self-awareness ("This is a special announcement for those passengers waiting for the special to London Paddington. This special train has been cancelled")?
23 Going for a swim in the sea without fear of being assaulted by anything larger than a passing condom.
24 Listening to The Archers omnibus on the radio while preparing Sunday lunch - rather than via the internet in your study at 11 o'clock at night.
25 The drive from Glasgow to Oban.
26 Never having to worry that you might catch a chill from the air conditioning on public transport.
27 The Edinburgh Festival: you don't often get to see Hungarian stilt walkers performing a comedy mime version of Macbeth in Puerto Banus.
28 A day at Lord's, the most civilised sporting venue in the world.
29 John Humphrys, the Matt cartoon, Sky Plus, Alan Green, Fighting Talk, Mark Radcliffe, Private Eye, Craig Brown, The Spectator, Chris Morris, Jeremy Paxman, and all those other media delights whose output we casually consume every day. Nowhere else in the world can begin to match strength like that.
30 Plus, at least here, unlike in the Dordogne and southern Spain, you're not surrounded the whole time by other bloody Brits.
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