Are these grapes sour, or are they simply replacing a tongue in the cheek?...........

From time to time one reads an account of and Expat's life in the Dordogne that is not all confit and foie gras, Pecharmant and Monbazillac. But when I came across this little report on the change in tendency aka slowing down of sales of beautiful old restorable Perigourdine homes to disenchanted Brits, I have to admit I was not sure of the intent of the author -- Perhaps it is just that I have always, and no doubt will always fail to grasp the sense of humour of my fellow-Brits........

You tell me what you think.....

From The Times, April 12, 2008
A Vendre : The British who turned the Dordogne into Dordogneshire are leaving for home

For sale: one French département, unexpectedly back on the market after having been occupied by the same nationality for 40 years. Offers incoming purchasers a chance to modernise to their own taste to create a marvellous ambience for family life.

Sale triggered by vendors facing credit crunch back in Britain, putting strain on finances, making it hard to raise mortgages for foreign property purchases, and thus forcing expatriate community to “retournons à nos moutons” (literally, “go home to Morden”). Compounded by frustration that the natives insist on speaking their own language; possibly because even after many decades of tourists addressing them in English, the locals are evidently a bit slow in picking up a foreign tongue - however loudly the English might speak.

Also disenchantment with the local menfolk parading along beaches in Speedos the size of a Post-It note; and German shepherd dogs guarding houses where the Jean-de-Florette-style owners don't even possess a full set of their own teeth, let alone valuables to tempt a burglar; and a nagging unease at taking children afflicted with swimming-related ear infections to be treated by French-style medicine (“Mais comment c'est possible, Monsieur le Docteur, qu'un suppositoire que vous voulez introduire dans la derrière de mon fils va améliorer un mal dans une oreille?”).

The Brits depart relieved that they will never again be embarrassingly caught out offering a double-cheek kiss to a native who kisses three times, or cheek-kissing three times with a diehard four-cheeker. Or be baffled by how much to tip, even though the bill says “service compris”.

Meanwhile, British males take home their regret that the local girls, always sniggering at their ankle-socks-with-sandals, never invited them to dabble in that legendary French cinq-à-sept pastime of “mouchoir-pouchoir” (or “hanky-panky”).

Like Samuel Johnson, Brits have decided that “what I gained by being in France was learning to be better satisfied with my own country.” So “à tout a l'heure” (or, “What a wake-up call!”).

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Hallowe'en in France

Last year I wrote about the chrysanthenums that are so frowned upon by the local French when ignorant expats put them in their homes -- instead of on the graves in the cemeteries where they belong! This year another type of splash of colour has been catching my attention wherever I go -- the wonderful arrangements of pumpkins and gourds and autumn flowers! A veritable feast for the eye!

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And now for the Finnish view of the typical Frenchman!

And this is what Alexia, a lovely young French woman who has moved to Finland, says the Finnish see as the stereotypical Frenchman:



- We are not good at learning other languages

- We eat strange things

- We drink too much red wine

- We pretend to know everything

- We always want to be right

- We talk too much and often to say nothing

- We are proud of our language and everything French

- We spend too much time greeting each other, we speak to each other in the respectful form and we are always thanking each other

- We are fussy about what we eat

And I have to say thus far I am wondering why these are things the Finns do NOT like about the French???? -ed

- We refuse to speak English

- We are always on strike

- We are arrogant and otherwise

- We like to flirt and sweet talk

- We are not very eco-conscious

- We make cars which are not suitable for Finland (well, excuse me!! -ed)

- Our grammar is complicated and the pronunciation is diffcult (and THIS from the Finns?? -ed)

- we are bureaucratic

- We have an opinion on everything and do not hesitate to give it (Bravo! -ed)

- We have no idea how to drive

- We are too chauvinistic

- Our hierarchy is too important

- Looking at the corruption, the scandals and the demonstrations, there is obviously a problem with our system

Well -- it is good for a laugh, n'est-ce pas?


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The stereotypical Frenchman no longer .........

In a recent article in the Sydney Morning Herald, David Whitley tries to answer the perennial question of whether the French are rude or just misunderstood --- a question that was probably asked a lot more often before the English speaking hordes stormed France for the Rugby World Cup!

For instance --- his opening paragraph had to have been written before the Australians and the British discovered the incredibly warm and helpful and hospitable French who welcomed them at every airport, train station and border post!:

The search for the rude Frenchman: as enduring stereotypes go, it has got serious stamina. The typical Frenchman - lazy, arrogant and refusing to speak anything but his own language. Throw in a beret here and a Gallic shrug there and you've got a caricature that has stood the test of time.

But credit to Mr. Whitley, he investigates the question well and shows both sides of the coin -- and comes to the conclusion that things have changed -- so only right that perceptions start changing too!

It would be easy to dismiss it as just that, a grotesque exaggeration with little basis in reality, but when the country's president storms out of a European Union conference on hearing a fellow Frenchman talking in English, as happened in March last year, it bears scrutiny.

The horror stories have been passed down for years - sneering waiters mocking requests to deviate from the menu, air traffic controllers going on strike during key holiday periods, hotel owners treating guests with total ambivalence, the whole country packing up and deserting their businesses during August.

How much is truth, how much enhanced versions of the truth and how much myth is difficult to assess.

There's only one way to find out and that's to throw yourself in as a completely befuddled tourist of the highest magnitude.

You get some interesting insights when you're deliberately alternating between someone who speaks passable French, having a decent knowledge of the culture and history of the country, and a clueless wretch who speaks English only.

In the first guise things are remarkably simple, with the only problems being personal embarrassment when the hotel receptionist spots a dodgy accent and replies to questions in English to help you both out. Everything is very civil, the assistance as unfailingly polite as you'd expect anywhere in the world.

The bigger shock is that this largely continues when acting the stereotypical arrogant English speaker who hasn't even bothered to learn so much as "parlez-vous Anglais?" Asking for directions in the street, ordering in a cafe, booking a place to rest the head at night; there is always an attempt to help. Admittedly it's not always successful but the attitude is not one of rude refusal, simply non-comprehension.

Much, it seems, depends on the approach. There is a world of difference between someone apologetically asking in English because they haven't got the language skills and someone marching in, expecting Johnny Foreigner to speak his language and jump at a click of the fingers. That's not French arrogance - quite the opposite.

There are signs that the reputation is being acknowledged within France. New President Nicolas Sarkozy ruffled a few feathers last year when he said that, in order to compete on a world scale, the French were going to have to work harder, start speaking English and stop looking down at the rest of the world.

"We should ask ourselves why the English buy our houses in the Dordogne ... The answer is simply because the British GDP is 10 per cent greater than the French and that the standard of life of the British is higher than that of the French," he said.

"We have committed the immense error of undermining work. When someone who works does not have a better life than someone who does not work, why should he get up in the morning?" Ouch. That's not going to go down well, is it?

You'd be surprised. The home truths, written in Sarkozy's recent book, weren't met with widespread outcry, much as the media would have liked them to be. There were no riots in the street, Sarkozy's standing was not harmed, and no one decided to go on strike.

The ordinary Frenchman, it appears, can understand where the perceived attitude problem comes from. Alain Duprat, a student working behind a bar in the regional city of Besanon to earn extra cash, happens to speak very good English but realises why many of his countrymen don't.

"It's not about not wanting to help but not being able to," he attempts to explain.

"Many French people do not have good English because it has never been very important to do so."

He's right. The prevalence of English as the international second language of choice is a fairly recent thing. Even 20 to 30 years ago French carried arguably as much import.

In practice, for the Frenchman, it didn't really matter whether he spoke a second language or not because the person they were speaking to probably spoke a fair bit of French. It's the same excuse those in the English-speaking world use today - because we never really have to practise a second language, all that is learned quickly falls by the wayside.

"Many French are not confident in their ability to speak English," Duprat adds, "so will only try when they see the other person is finding it hard."

The tourism industry clearly realises the imperative to be multilingual. If you go to any attraction in Paris you will find guides and signposting not only in English but probably in Spanish, German and Japanese as well.

Even on the trains, announcements are done in two languages for the benefit of passengers. That would be unthinkable in Sydney, New York or London.

But the rude reputation is not just to do with language. What about the sneering, the belief that French is best? Well that, too, appears to be a myth. Requests for tomato sauce to go on a steak are met promptly without a tut or an exasperated gasp. Hoteliers not only show you to the room but give a brief guided tour of the entire premises, while any requests for directions are met with thorough briefings and wildly descriptive hand gestures.

Striking up a conversation in a supposed English theme pub - everyone is sitting around sipping wine, so it doesn't really fit - one of the locals, Michel, has a theory.

Half in pidgin English, half in scaled-back speaking-to-a-foreigner French, he explains a philosophy we don't often consider. "It's about respect. We believe that other people are intelligent and know what they are doing."

It's a fair call. They don't help because they don't automatically assume you need it. This isn't rudeness, it's treating strangers with a high opinion. And you can see this whenever you walk into a shop. You'll never get the shark asking if they can help as soon as you step across the threshold.

The expectation is that you know what you are looking for and want to be able to do so in your own time. When looked at from this perspective, French "rudeness" is mighty refreshing.

In fact, it would be easy to wipe out all previous conceptions about the French character on a short trip to the country but it's comforting to know that at least some of the stereotype rings true.

Sitting in the Gare du Nord, waiting to get on the Eurostar back to London, an announcement comes across the speaker system. "Passengers are advised that there will be no catering service on board today's Eurostar services. This is due to strike action by staff members.

"We recommend that any refreshments are bought prior to boarding and we apologise for any inconvenience." Ah, some things never change, do they?

.........Sounds like there are still a lot of people out there that need Relocation and Orientation courses in France!..............


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Learning French: One phrase a Day

Only today: THREE new useful phrases to keep on the tip of your tongue!

Quoi de neuf ? What's new?

Qu'est-ce que tu deviens ? What have you been up to?

Quels temps nous vivons ! What times we live in!



Photo: Carolyn Cole

Excellent Language School in the Dordogne:
Aquitaine Langues

The best way to learn a language: Total immersion:
Le Français Face à Face

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