A few examples of witty sayings by those voted the top ten wittiest in Britain:
I say, I say, I say
1 Oscar Wilde “Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast”
2 Spike Milligan “All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy”
3 Stephen Fry “An original idea. That can’t be too hard. The library must be full of them”
4 Jeremy Clarkson “Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary . . . that’s what gets you”
5 Sir Winston Churchill “A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen”
6 Paul Merton “I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. If they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?”
7 Noel Coward “People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what’s wrong with it.”
8 Shakespeare “Maids want nothing but husbands, and when they have them, they want everything”
9 Brian Clough “The River Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years”
10 Liam Gallagher “She [Victoria Beckham] cannot even chew gum and walk in a straight line at the same time, let alone write a book.”
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