The Russian Dash-cam Supercut

A shift in the life. Cool video from a New York Cabbie

RIP Paradise Driver

Sad news on the passing of a fellow taxi blogger Wil who at one time posted from Mau'i from  http://paradisedriver.blogspot.co.uk/
This from his grandson this morning.

Hey, this is Wil's grandson Justin.  I'm sorry to let you know but he passed last night in his sleep.  The family is sad to see him go but we were all fortunate enough to be able to say our good-bye's.  Even the members from different towns and states made it, which he was very grateful for.  He was also very grateful for the support and emails from you guys.  He mentioned you all and the blogs quite a bit and was very excited when we read him your responses.  The family would also like to thank you all for your friendship and support which gave him comfort in the end.  If you have any questions you can email me or my dad (  robertkyle@sbcglobal.net.   again, thank you and we'll all miss him

This is typical one of his posts take a look in the archives for more!

Friday, December 29, 4:00am in central Kihei.

"Where are we headed to ladies?"
"Take us to Fred's."
"Okay, Fred's it is."
"Actually we aren't going to Fred's, our condo is just past there."
"What's the name of your condo?"
"We can't remember but its just past Fred's. We'll recognize it when we see it."
"Not a problem. Just tell me when to turn."
"How much is it going to cost me to get there?
"Gee. Since I have no idea where we are headed, its kinda hard to give you an estimate."
"Thats okay. Just give me a rough guess. I hope I have enough to pay you."
"Lady, the meter trips at $3.50 and then its 30 cents per 1/10th of a mile after that."
"Good. I have enough."
Their destination was about a mile south of "Fred's". Gave me $16 on a $10.10.
They spoke very softly with each other as we rode and one said something about both of them having been good. At least one of them had been very good.
The car reeked of sex
RIP Wil.

Fuel Frustration

Now being a taxi driver has recently been named as one of the ten most stressful jobs so it’s best to try and be calm and placid all the time whilst working, or else they say that the stress will eventually kill you.

Now nothing usually gets to me, I tend to try and ignore the bad driving and rudeness of the minority who are the morons of the road.

But one thing really gets my teeth gnashing and my rarely used stock of swearwords in full flow.

It was a busy day, I was low on fuel, and so during a lull I headed into my usual supermarket garage to top up the diesel.

But it looked as if every other driver in town had the same idea at the same time and all the lanes were backed up.

After doing the usual dip zoo magazoo to pick which lane to wait in I joined a line of cars.

Much later I was next in line and it was finally about to be my turn at the pump.

The driver of the car in front of me had got into their car and I moved eagerly forward ready to take its place.

The driver happened to be a woman but I have had the same maddening experience from both sexes.

 She firstly checked her hair and makeup in the mirror and then carefully stowed away her credit cards cash and sweeties etc, into her handbag.

 I started to edge forward as she put her bag on the floor and started to fasten her seat belt.

 But after fiddling about finding the buckle and adjusting the belt to her liking, she then found that her keys were not in the ignition, so it was off with the belt and back out with the full contents of the bottomless bag.

By this time, all the other lanes had emptied but another car had come up close behind me and I was helplessly trapped not earning and squirming with frustration.

A good few minutes later and the missing keys were found, the seatbelt was fastened, and my hopes were again rising.

Only to be cruelly dashed when a final mirror check revealed some defect in her eye make-up.

Yep you guessed it the make-up was in the bottomless bag on the floor and so it went on with her still blissfully unaware of the queue behind her.

That is until she noticed that my taxi was now only a coat of paint away from her car and that I was revving the engine and mouthing curses about her and all her ancestors before her.

She drove of looking quite flustered, I filled up whilst taking deep breaths, and considering a change of career perhaps a Buddhist monk or a soot juggler eh!

  

 

Arithmetic

On a bright Sunday morning, the job was to pickup from one of the more upmarket Lake District country house hotels and takes some folks the 100miles to Manchester airport.

The luggage was loaded and my fare turned out to be a German couple and an English guy in his thirties who had been attending a posh wedding at the hotel.

They were all flying back to Tenerife where they were living and working.

They seemed to be a reasonably intelligent and sophisticated group and the ride went quickly and smoothly enough, with the couple chatting and the guy playing with his i-phone.

That is until we reached the airport and its unloading point. Now as the airport is very busy and security is very tight only a few minutes are allowed to unload before you are firmly moved on.

The only thing which needed to be done before we unloaded the luggage was to quickly pay me the £90 owed for the taxi fare.

 They were it turned out splitting the fare between the couple and the single guy and so they each had some notes in their hands.

I could not believe it when the single guy instead of handing over the cash appeared to be concentrating on sending a text on his i-phone.

This went on for a full two minutes and I was getting more and more stressed thinking about the parking fine that I would surely be getting.

But then looking a bit closer at his beloved phone I realised with amazement that he was actually using the calculator function to try and figure out half of £90.

“Forty five” I blurted out a bit too loudly whilst rolling my eyes and shaking my head in exasperation.

Believe it or not, he then actually finished checking this simple sum on his phone for a further thirty seconds before handing over the cash.

Don’t think I have ever come as close to swearing before.

Walney Mosque

I had picked up from a local supermarket; my fare was a middle aged woman who started to whinge about everything and anything from the very moment she got into the taxi.
She was going to Walney island and on the way started to whinge about problems she had about the island, after a moan about the wind which is always prevalent over there she started on the subject of new folks moving on to the island. "The bloody p***i's are taking over the place" she moaned, "They are even taking over the bloody pubs," she cried.
She explained what she meant in a long racist rant which boiled down to that some Asians had taken on a local island pub the King Alfred and turned part of it into an Indian restaurant and renaming it the Mr Elephant, and then they had gone on to take over the George Hotel another island pub which has long been in decline.
Driving along Walneys promenade, she looked up towards what was a long abandoned church which has now been demolished apart from its bell tower and was covered by scaffolding.
“What are they doing there?” she asked pointing at the tower.
Instantly my evil alter ego kicked in and keeping a straight face, I lied to her that it was going to be the new mosque for all the muslins moving onto Walney.
Egged on by the look of sheer outrage on her face I went on to say that they had left the bell tower intact to convert to a minaret so that the call to prayer could be heard all over the island.

She was still muttering and plotting petitions and letters to her MP when I dropped her off ten minutes later.

I keep laughing about it every time I drive past the pretend mosque several times a day; hope she doesn’t remember me next time I pick her up eh!

Taxi Forums

Its new and not much there but with your contributions could be beneficial to the cumbrian taxi trade. Although aimed towards the Cumbrian taxi driver in the UK the forums are open to anyone regardless of where they are from.

www.cumbriataxiforums.co.uk

Porche Taxi

 A Porche Taxi in Bangkok or so it seems this is a publicity stunt for Samsung.

Eyes bigger than the belly!

 I took these photos on Barrow's Rating Lane during the morning rush hour. This is a semi suburban area with lots of traffic and students passing to and from the three nearby schools and college.
 I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the hawk take the wood pigeon down in mid flight especially when I saw that it was about equal in size.
I stopped the taxi and did a hasty u-turn back to where the hawk had its intended meal pinned down and then zoomed in from across the road.
I don’t know if the hawk was disturbed by me taking the photos or it had bitten of more than it could chew with the size of its victim, but the softies amongst you will be glad to know that shortly after the hawk posed for these photos the pigeon flew away unharmed apart from a few lost feathers.

CowHorse

It constantly amazes me that when I point out this funny road sign to my fares most have never noticed it before. The sign is on one of the busiest roads out of Barrow and thousands and thousands of folk drive past many times a day without even noticing it. I love the way its done so skillfully a cross between a cattle warning and a horse and rider sign, very clever.

Code of Conduct

Below is a copy of our local councils proposed code of conduct.

Personally I agree with all of it and it seems to me to be all common sense.

I know of some local drivers who are whinging about it but the local trade desperately needs to improve standards of both cars and drivers.

It doesn't take more than a quick look around our local ranks and driver hangouts to spot a minority of drivers who fail to keep themselves and the cars which earn them a living clean and tidy.

The biggest problem in the local trade is simply apathy, drivers will moan and whinge about the trade between themselves but wont bother to get up off there butts and do something about it.

A copy of this proposed code of conduct has been sent to all the drivers but most of them if they bother to read it at all will simply moan about the cheek of the local council expecting them to come to the WORKPLACE clean and tidy.

 I just wonder if this code of conduct will be enforced, I sincerely hope so!

 We are often the first point of contact when we pick up people from out of the town, what sort of first  impression do we want to leave them with!

Overkill or Not?

Just got this e-mailed to me! what do you think is this really necessary in this quiet Cumbria backwater or should we not be taking chances nowadays?
Are things getting that bad nowadays that taxi drivers should really be considering investing in one of these. Maybe not but then again think back to just over twelve months ago since Cumbria taxi driver Derek Bird went on a rampage with a shotgun killing twelve people including a fellow driver and shooting and attempting to kill two more cabbies.  

The Language Barrier

Well not so much the language but the dialect of 2 indian dopctors I had picked up that wanted to go to the local hospital.. I asked them which entrance and one of them said "ANY".. Fine. Maybe I should ask again so I did and got the same response "ANY". I said "Are you sure you want any entrance?" and he said YES.

I then said I would take them to the main entrance and he said "No... I want any entrance". This had me a little baffled until he said it a bit slower. "I want A and E Entrance".

I felt a right plonker.

Furness Tours

If you get the chance check out my new venture, which seems to be generating  quite a lot of interest. The website is www.furnesstours.co.uk

Candy Cabs

Just been sent an E-Mail asking if I would like to buy a new taxi as pictured above. Apparently its one of the cars used in the new BBC series Candy Cabs. Mmmm tempted but maybe not eh! might not go down well when picking up some of our more macho fares.

Pre-booked cab

Some people will always book their taxi well in advance and will ask for a taxi at 9am or 10.30pm or five to eleven etc etc but theres always one that has to be a bit eccentric I suppose..

I didnt think anything of it at first until I noticed on the PDA screen (image to the left) that the job was pre-booked for 9.02pm and even so I thought that the customer had rang it asking for it in 20 mins and the telephonist at our end had booked it in as 20 minutes from the current time for example but curiosity got the better of me and so I questioned the young man and asked "What time did you book your cab for" expecting him to say 9pm. He actually said 2 minutes past nine and went on to explain that he was meeting a girl in the pub and had told her that if she wasnt there by 9pm that he would be going without her and he had rang the taxi at 8pm ish anticipating that she wasnt going to turn up and allowed 2 minutes at 9pm and then got in the taxi and went on his way.

Things people say in an argumant

It was around 11pm last night that I picked up a young man and woman who were constantly arguing with each other from the moment they got in the car. The argument stopped briefly to allow one of them to tell me where they wanted to go to and then it started again as quickly as it stopped.

I didnt want to get involved and just kept driving and saying nothing as on a lot of occasions they do try and involve the driver with questions such as "What do you think then? I am right or is she right?" I don't get involved in other peoples arguments as I just want to get my job done. Get them to their destination, get the fare from them, and move on to my next job.

However, I couldnt help but laugh when the girl says to Boy "You think you are gods gift to women, well sorry to burst your bubble but gods gift to women runs on batteries! :) " --- Made me laugh anyway

Window Cleaner

I have gotten used to some of my fares taking their own sweet time coming out of their houses and getting into the Taxi that they have ordered. Usually it’s a case of not being quite ready because the cab arrived quicker than they thought. Sometimes they struggle to find keys, mobile phone, tickets etc, this is par for the course and doesn’t bother me unduly.

But today when I arrived outside the fares house bang on time was a first for me and left me slightly bewildered. My fare, a well dressed fairly normal looking woman looked out of her front door and raised one finger towards me which is the usual signal to say that she would be out in a minute or so. Imagine my surprise when she reappeared with a window cleaning squeegee and promptly started to clean her front bay window.

She rushed at it as a woman possessed and the squeegee was a blur as she washed and dried off her window in record time.

She then threw the window cleaning gear back into her house, came out, and got in the taxi.

She could see my perplexed expression and so had to give me some kind of explanation.  She said “that mucky window has been driving me mad all morning and I just couldn’t leave the house with it like that, it would have driven me mad thinking about it.”

Some folk really are a bit strange eh!

Busy Docks

The local Docks in Barrow in Furness seem to be booming at the moment. Everywhere you look on every spare inch of water a ship or boat is moored.

 This comes about because of the boom in the offshore wind turbine industry.

 We have several big projects going on at the moment in the Irish Sea off Walney. Unfortunately, most of the materials and labor are supplied by the Dutch and Danish, I would have liked to have seen more UK involvement but as most of the investment is by Danish companies, we will have to accept it as sort of second invasion of the Vikings. Still I have had quite a few of the workers and crew as passengers and they seem like a nice bunch of characters.

Wondering about amongst all these ships and boats looking for my fare I was amazed to spot an ex RAF jetfighter hidden away in a corner, How did that get there?

Pen and Paper

On a wet and windy Saturday, afternoon and my fare who was a woman of a mature vintage shivered and dripped copious amounts of cold Barrow rainwater as she climbed into my cab. After the usual weather related chit chat, she declared that she had only ventured out into town in this heavy storm to buy some paper and refills for her fountain pen. Refills for a pen I exclaimed why not just buy another pen surely; they only cost a few pence. She looked horrified at the very idea and asked just when the last time that I had received a handwritten letter was. I thought about it for a minute or two and had to admit I couldn’t remember receiving one for many a year.
Come to think of it, the only items that seem to come by post nowadays are bills, computer written official letters or printed junk mail adverts. When I told her this she gave a knowing smile and asked what I do with this correspondence,” it goes straight into the shredder” I replied.  Well she says, “I have been writing to as many as thirty different folk all over the world some as far away as Australia for the last fifty years and all of them tell me that they still have every one of my letters”.   She must have seen the puzzled look on my face and as if for explanation dug into, her leather bag and pulled out a sheath of handwritten letters. Take a look at some of these she urged, and so when we pulled up outside her house I took the time to check out one or two.
The envelopes and paper used were all of the very best quality and the handwriting was absolutely superb, even though the heavy paper was unlined, every line was equally spaced and looked like a piece of artwork. Not a spelling mistake or grammar error could be seen. Wow, it was a pleasure to even look and read one of the multipage masterpieces, never mind to actually have one sent to you through the post.
I really was impressed and if a Parker fountain pen came along with a spellchecker, I may have even thought about investing in one. No, wonder her readers treasured her letters and I hope that she keeps the art of letter writing alive for many years to come.